if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
