Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
