did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well you can't waste a boner
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
