girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
