I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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