So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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