Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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