butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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