Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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