I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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