We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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