you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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