its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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