Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
