girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
