a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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