WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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