No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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