around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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