No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize