So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.