The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
...so i touched it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry