Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
