no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
