im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
