you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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