Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have post one night stand depression
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