is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize