I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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