Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize