I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
