His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize