Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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