sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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