You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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