i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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