He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they need to just BURY HIM!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
