My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
