Moan for me like Helen Keller
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize