he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
