So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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