Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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