wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
