There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
