Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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