i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize