I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When are your genitals available?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
