I'm lost and stupid without you.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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