You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How's work?
Spinning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
