Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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