Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
