She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey