I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.