you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.