hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.