i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived