he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?