Say something about gay babies.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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