When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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