whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
