Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
