guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
